Thought Disorder

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

there's this sudden pang that overwhelmed me.

it feels like. i-don't-think-i-am-that-lonely-anymore.

<3
(anyway i don't understand why michelle has SO BIG a reaction when i say, m_____ likes q___)

10:54 PM

uhm doesn't it feel like you're concocting another fake tragedy for perpetual pandemonium.

if that's the case, you're just pure evil.

evil.

11:05 AM

Monday, January 30, 2006

y'know there's this particular feeling that is unfathomable. like. you wish for (something) to happen to you but when (something) really happens to you, you'll tend to feel this stupid surging feeling to run away.

why do i like, feel myself entangled in a web of freaking uncertainty.

anyway i think peer pressure is scary.

and being peerless is also scary.

so everything is just, ironic.

okay yes i encountered this zomg, thought-provoking question on xiaxue's blog. what's my one question to god when i finally get to meet him? (which means by then i'm happily pushing up daisies, free from all the unhappiness in the real world, ULTIMATE SOLACE might be a good sum-up) uhm i think i'll have lots to ask, but i won't ask the damned obvious ones.

of course i'm not telling you what i'm gonna ask. but i haven't thought about what exactly i'm gonna ask yet.

so anyway, more than half of today was spent on precious sleep! totally redeemed sleep from all of the insufficient sleep accumulated from the past few weeks. cny is no big hooha. even my parents would want to spend their whole day at home lazing around, because they rarely have the time to indulge in luxurious sleep. tv gets awesomely boring on the first few days of cny yeah. since there's nothing else to do (i'm ditching homework k), i'll just food binge and sleep continuously.

the worst thing is that i'm sick now, caught the idiotic flu bug. ):

besides sleep, i think i could use basketball as a pick-me-up, if amelia is free.(: which apparently isn't very likely a thing.

seriously i think i got so tamed socially (or is it just my own human nature?!) that i'm starting to doubt myself after ~~tirelessly~~ stupidly listening to ~~several~~ millions of stories from everyone.

and you'll say, you wouldn't wish to be in such circumstances.

do i.

do i not.

uhm remind me i'm the PACIFIER again please or else i'll just go like. all cranky and haywire.

11:26 PM

Sunday, January 29, 2006

i feel like. horrible. terrible.

maybe i should ought to feel immensely devastated so i won't be so bored.

WOW.

11:05 PM

Saturday, January 28, 2006

okay ft no i don't require my so-called 'wish' to come true.

wasn't quite like a wish in the first place anyway.

uhm and wishes rarely come true unless a shooting star happens to coincide with you.

crapola. today's chinese new year eve! it's pretty queer that i no longer sense the festivity mood around, unlike when i was younger. maybe it's due to the ginormous amount of stress i'm dealing with/the avalanche of homework+projects i need to complete/the KILLER timetable. gahhh chinese new year makes me jovial because i get to take a few days off from the hustle and bustle of school without having any mc. and i get to wear my new clothes and most importantly, my converse dunk-consolation shoes. (:

uhm pepulllll i'm sorry. think i'm getting absurdly temperamental and then getting stupidly kecked up at nothing. ): later on i'll go like. i'll hate you i'd hate you i hate you but actually, i do not.

say that i'm not strange.

damn, i haven't got enough money for the BFG's present. and the bata at hougang mall has unknowingly vanished!! uh i still don't understand why would anyone want to buy a shoe from bata, benign. it's more of the type like when we're still in primary school we'll go cra-zeh over them. they aren't lasting, aren't comfortable, and costs an odd 20 or so. which is a total rip off. i'd rather save my 20 for a few more weeks and get a better shoe like NIKE DUNKS. <3 the strangest thing is that bfg doesn't know what on earth are dunks. *large chuckle* k you're so outttt.

shan't tell you what it is.

yeahhhhh i managed to clean my room in an hour or two just now. just before the much-awaited CNY descends. it's a big taboo to be doing chores on CNY day or having a severely messy room with dust-filled air and floor ('cause it symbolises bad luck or something related to that).

whatever it is, i finished cleaning my room. the dust made me sneezed and coughed an entire lot.

yayzors.

i like strawberries dipped in selected and matching chocolate that enhances it's taste. lovely, tastes like heavenly <3. last christmas we had that and i simply couldn't forget the oh-so-perfect taste.

i want!!

zomg zomg zomg.

anyway ice cream from macs is kind of a waste of money because with two mcflurries i can get a ben and jerry's cone that is awfully good with funky flavours. makes me happy. makes everyone happy. hahaha. i almost persuaded myself to give into the temptation of having b&j's, since it's new year's eve and it's party time. no. i had macs sundae and regretted thoroughly. i'd rather get b&j's and spend an extra 4 bucks or so.

booooo.

do you reckon what makes me happy is ___.

uhm actually it's just a small piece in the formation of 'happy' in my world. guess the rest just falls down to achieving good grades, friends and intangible stuffs you can never explain, even in a thousand words.

but deep inside, the corner of my mind, i'm attached to you.

yet another cliche comtemplation that has been weighing me down, since purple moons.

and i didn't know anyone cared or what. sometimes it feels like the world has turned its back on me.

jaded jaded jaded love.

i'd love to manipulate fate. bitchy fate. >:(

the bad thing about CNY is that tv gets really boring.

so anyway. XIN1 NIAN2 KUAI4 LE4, GONG1 XI3 FA1 CAI1!!! (don't know if i got this right or not)

10:24 PM

Friday, January 27, 2006

i mean, i don't think i'm required at all to extend the 'fun' or whatsoever part. won't it like, be the same.

and i felt a moment of uselessness during pe. maybe i should make it a point to like, uhm stop playing bball in school. with the exception of the presence of amelia.

pacifying people is never my job but seems like i'm recruited for this horrendous task. ): look at it, I'M ALWAYS THE PACIFIER. fyi if you didn't quite realise my existence. THE PACIFIER.

guess i should cease the bitching around, or rants/unpublicised emotions if you put it in a more pleasant manner.

i was telling felfel that i missed amelia.

and there she appeared. outside of our class when my annoyance was on it's prime peak.

<3

yeah so after school we flounced off to watch the bball match at fengshan cc, somewhere in bedok. somewhere that i'm utterly sure i'll get lost in if i were to be stranded there. cca was cancelled today so it was like. hurrehhhhh babehhhhh.

sadly, the guys lost. if you compare them to kovan cc's bball team, they aren't as skillful as plkcc i suppose. (i hope no one reads this :D)

um after the match we wandered off and attempted to find our way around. miraculously we boarded some bus and landed up in tampines. we had the perpetual hunger for bball (didn't bring my bball along too) but time was limited so we took another bus to hougang cc, only to find the bball court occupied by some big tent. ):

went to kovan. amelia was like, let's walk to kovan. i was like, can we take a bus. eventually amelia ran all the way to kovan (cause she said she haven't ran in a while) and i took a bus. she was faster then me!! amelia is faster than the bus. see, that's how fast she is. WOW.

think the worst thing was the entire cc was empty. devoid of its usual rowdiness and din. like. where's the world gone to? home? anticipating and preparing for the cny which is in a day or two. yeah so we were like. wth walao. because we wanted to find someone to share ball and the court with but there was strangely none.

we went to the backcourt and shared bball with a primary 6 boy who refused to tell us his name. uhm we're not big bad wolves who will devour you or anything close to that k. he was like effing pro, chopping all the balls. whoaaaaaaa. :O

bball there was apparently much more better than it was in school.

so anyway we just stayed for a while and i was almost tempted to visit amelia's house for a drink but i was exhausted and lazy. and yeah i really need sufficient sleep to re-energize my semi-dead body cos i've been sleeping real late and waking up real early all week.

and amelia, you can't stop the <3.

7:23 PM

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

okay so no hiatus. nada. maybe hiatus.

i have this old, and temporary i suppose, monitor now. rid of the decolouring one already.

it's completely screwed that i'm choosing the option of using the computer over the sleeping option. ahhhhhh uhm i'd just caught the mighty flu from michelle and am feeling utterly horrible now. ): y'know the feeling of your nose being stuck. especially when you're preparing to be sucked into dreamland/sleepland, your blocked nose is obstructing your ample supply of oxygen and it totally sucks because then, you'll have to resort to breathing with your mouth.

i shall consult thee medicine.

yeah it's awkward that i'm feeling quite psyched up now, for absolutely no reason. maybe it's because of the tea i drank just now. got caffeine de worx. the bad cause of my sleepless night. then i shall contradict it by eating my flu medicine which makes me drowsy. haha.

ironically, i'm feeling awake in my brain but exhausted physically.

i think the bestestest periods are LA lectures. to think that i was falling asleep during the lecture this morning. like. okay. it's not that it's insipid or whatsoever. perhaps i'm worn out.

and jaded.

the worst thing was that during the 3 crazy blocks of Anny, i hardly had any dozes. in fact, i was watching the film. maybe the reason is that she caught me catching 40 winks yesterday. uhm wait. isn't that a good thing.

so the worst thing is that we have to commence on our film report tomorrow. devastating. ):

haha and i realise some stupid and bad habit of mine today. courtesy of the ___. uh so it goes this way. whenever i am called/pick up the phone/hear someone call me, i'll go WHAT?! in a really reluctant tone. okay i know it's really annoying but i've gotten so used to it i can't kick it. uhm and i know my parents are also annoyed when i go WHAT?!?! when they call me. amelia says i sound angry and irritated. haha. i'm not offended. actually, FYI, i'm hardly offended by anything. EVEN IF IT MEANS WAITING 2 HOURS FOR AMELIA. okay. so i think i'm going to on an anti-WHAT?!?!?!?! campaign in no time. like how i kicked profanities effectively. eh but no, i'm getting hooked to them again.

mood:ecstatic. because i'm no longer __________________. (: I'M HAPPIER THIS WAY. i'm happier listening in class rather than not listening and landing myself in hot soup, struggling with the facts and lagging away behind.

no.

and i'm half-confused about dis_______________. one minute you're extremely nice and the other, lies are fabricated and non-existing reasons are weaved. it makes me retch thoroughly. initially i was still sure i'm right and you're so wrong but now, i'm having doubts about my thoughts, and my utterances.

am i sinning?

or are you just someone who deserves all of this.

there are always so many sides to everything that i don't know who to believe.

am i sinning?

11:41 PM

Sunday, January 22, 2006

gosh math assignment 1 is really hard. >:( looks like this begins the downfall of my A in math for the previous years. )X

and here am i trying to persist to blog this one final entry as i told myself I'M NOT GOING TO USE THE COMPUTER FOR A VERY LONG TIME AFTER TODAY. like. because the monitor is on it's dying process already. it's turning pink! and it's semi-pink now and just shocking pink a second ago. haywire and cranky. my dad's gonna sulk soon because he has no computer to snatch with me for his work. okay yes i think it's going to break down soon.

i'm sad because i don't have my computer to entertain me whenever i am bored/exhausted from doing too much work. the worst thing is i can't use my computer to do projects now! hahaha. is that a very excellent excuse to escape.

overall, i'm sad. ):

happy at the same time because i can distant myself and the boxy object to allow time for tv/sleep/homework. (: isn't that goood.

and i'm jubilant because it means my parents have to splurge on a new monitor. in other words, a new LCD monitor. that's blindingly obvious.

okay so it means i'm going on a hiatus until my dad finally succumbs to my persuasion of buying an LCD monitor.

to cheer you up, here's a really interesting thing that happened between today and yesterday.

(yesterday)
mum: i saw a phone that is really cool on the newspaper today. sliding phone. dunno what. but very nice.
me: oh really. i think it's nokia6111.
mum: uh...something like that lah. only $198!
me: *BIGGRIN* :D

(today)
me: uh are you feeling generous.
mum: no.

i asked her many many times at different times of the day and the answer was still no. ): no fret i shall keep asking her and questioning her about her generiosity to the weakling.

the pink flickering of the monitor is largely disturbing. i should get back to finishing math assignment 1.

byebye. hiatus. <3 y'all.

10:39 PM

Saturday, January 21, 2006

omgomgomg i bumped into the white tshirt guy again today(except that he was wearing a brown one today).

mega
:O

yesterday we agreed on 9am but i reached school at 11am+++ today. practically everyone was late anyway. found everyone in the classroom and they haven't really done anything much yet because we so do not have any ideas for anything. so i had to climb in through the window like everyone did as the doors were locked. eventually i was made to colour the last cartoon character. uhm i think i did a really bad job.

climbing through the window was pretty fun. imagine the school discovering a bunch of rowdy asses inside a locked classroom. okay they will be like, what the hell are you doing in there hello you're going to be in deep shit. come to think of it, hey maybe i should have climbed over the fence at pcc with amelia on christmas day. i was, anyway, halfway through the fence already but i decided to abandone the bad deed.

both sets of my oil pastels are ruined and i'm piqued.

they were all brandishing their hippy phones in class that contains mp3 functions and blasting songs everywhere. i'm like. saddened. i'm suddenly reminded that i possess an unglam phone with unglam functions. and i'm even saddened after being reminded of didum.

uh okay enough of that. MY MUM'S CONSIDERING GETTING ME A NEW PHONE (EG. NOKIA6111) SO (:

ps: don't TOUCH my bball because it's more precious than your life.

and after that i just sat there for a moment and contemplated on finishing my summary writing. because i wasn't being of any help at all. anyway it was just a sluggish day. borrringgg.

uhm yes then we played ball for a while and i did two 3pointers which I, AND THE REST OF THE WORLD, CLAIM TO BE COMPLETELY TYCO. anyway it's still a 3pointer so. :D

and i was fooling around with yann chyng's phone that has a megapixel camera so i'm wayyy jealous. it's not the epitome of cool in my opinion because it's SAMSUNG and i'm biased. then i was curious to see how i look when i'm shooting/doing layup so i got them to take a video while i was shooting to allow me to observe it.

which obviously did not work out. they were following the ball. omgomg.

but anyway i did shoot short ones of qian doing her layup. funny funny amusing layup.

and then we deleted all the videos. :D

after noon i left for tuition and everyone else left too. god i think i'm sucha big dumbass with zero comprehension skills at all. that's why my compres always suck really bad ): grrrrr.

then i had myself at kovan. the minute i stepped out of kovan station, it started to pour. wet blanket. bible study was relatively fun but was super short. we didn't cover much. uh i'm looking forward to the next one, like..i'm partly curious and semi excited.

y'know i think i ought to get a planner like abby's and angela's to organize my dates properly 'cause i'm kinda forgetful and mindless.

besides, amelia is definitely forgetful so she'll need one quite badly (;

we ran off to play some ball before the rain made its descend again. oh god i seriously suck now. my shooting is way off, partially because the ball was heavy after absorbing the water on the ground. and i was preoccupied with trying to remember what to say to amelia about ________ and ___. am i allowed to say that i don't quite like them.

okay so overall it was short, and it was sucky because i aired lots of shots. ):

yeah i'm desperate for sleep now. amelia's present is so rad and uh...funky? (X thanks <3AMELIA

10:52 PM

Friday, January 20, 2006

it's so utterly sickening why don't you ever get it. all this is making me retch. i'm sorry i'm like that yeah but it just makes me nauseate when i recall about everything. WHY CAN'T YOU READ MY CLUES they're all plastered over my face. you might think i don't know what's happening out there but IN FACT, YES I DO I THINK I'M EVEN MORE AWARE OF 'CURRENT AFFAIRS' THAN YOU ARE.

in short. i know it's impending and i'm attempting to curb it and make a sudden u-turn which apparently isn't very possible.

okay and i think the worst thing was the question you mindlessly and stupidly posed for me WHICH WRECKED MY DAY AND MADE ME SO ANNOYED because i can read between the lines better than you do. i doubt you even know that you're hiding a certain meaning in your unprocessed words. damn right annoying and hell insulting.

i can't stand it.

ps: if it's a no-no to rid you, i'll rid myself.

________ behaved well today and was oddly quiet without ginormous laughters with poppys. awfully strange. awwww and i got snubbed several times i was crushed. :D glad you're getting my hints. i'm feeling MEAN after peeeeeepullll made me infinitely irritated.

still waiting.

no babehhhhhh stop the pretense stop deceiving yourself.

11:07 PM

Thursday, January 19, 2006

my teeth was hurting badly for the entire day so it was stupidly disturbing.

uh and for your information, i'm not least in interested in your unprecedented flooding of the topic. i reckon you think i wanna know more but actually, i'm afraid to say, you're so so so wrong about it.

so yeah i'm kinda getting blase about the whole idea. and there goes me being indifferent about practically everything. ):

this might be what i'd just thought is on my mind for a very very long time: jaded love. i'm weary, and too tied down by fallacious hopes. guess it's been up there for quite long already and i'm pretty sure no one's aware of it, save for felfel?

um..felfel gave me a really unconventional present today. hahaha. it's really whacky y'know. :D

our class has pretty weird teachers. today the geog teacher came into class and started shouting at us. eccentric persona. she does that every lesson she has with us so we're all apprehensive about geog. and physics we have another quirky teacher who doesn't really give us much of an idea what he's teaching about. so. we're all kind of lost more or less.

after school qian and i played bball and it was dead fun, although we're pathetically reduced to only the both of us and occasionally nat. gawd i miss 2a like crazy-mad.

oh and qian commented that i look like an eskimo, which i myself think i look like one too, after we wore our pe shirts over our uniform to play ball during break.

eskimos are cute. HAHAHA. (:

it was comfy initially but it got hotter so we were desperate to get out of our pe shirts.

heh the funniest thing that happened today was that i sat next to qian today during physics and we four, qian, kiwi, sean and i were discussing about a particular 'icon of cool' aka miss____ and we all shared the same views! it's so annoying ): um i think you should be crowned the blatant liar's bestestest friend. like because. you're a bad liar.

9:15 PM

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

felfel and i did something really bad today. so bad that i'm afraid to go back and take a look.

today we saw ______ and were practically going ga-ga mannnn. it's a real unlikely matter. like. because. it's not practical. uhm probably tailing around like spying on a big celebrity. it was, awkward? digging into someone else's world.

pretty fun. what a huge spice-up. yay! (x

so anyway, school was relatively short and semi so-so like always. the best thing was LA i think. anticipating the film project, but absolutely not the opposite-gender-humans in the same group as me. you know who. the worst thing of the day was that we had to survive 3 periods of Anny who, i reckon, has a bad case of cranky middle-aged angst.

she ought to get some 'how to turn rowdy kids into angels' tuts. because it's blatant that we're all trampling on her.

twc still has the best taming skills. she's even able to tame eugene man, only during her lessons.

ps: i A.B.H.O.R people who do not act accordingly to what they say.
pps: i'm annoyed. i'm annoyed. i'm ANNOYED. ):

the highlight of the energy-draining day is: I JUST BUMPED INTO THE PSEUDO-VJCIAN.

:O

this is like, strange. the white tshirt guy. the pseudo-vjcian. in a short span of time. somewhere unexpected. the same people. uhm why not tti.

10:19 PM

Sunday, January 15, 2006

ZOMG i ran into the white tshirt guy today again. it's been the umpteenth time i'm running into him and i was totally cursing my luck because it happened on the 80 bus in totally unexpected conditions. (like i ran into the pseudo-vjcian the other day) actually i never really experienced this extent of sheer coincidence cos it's a little, unrealistic and out-of-the-world. no way man i'd never thought i'll ever encounter this. freaky. i hope i won't see him again. UNLESS I'M DEFIED. ha who am i.

my commonwealth essay has its plot done but as for the writing, it looks pretty undone. frankly i haven't commenced on the writing part. the plot is cliche. hahaha. and math cover page! photoshop is giving up on me and vice versa. i lost all of my brushes! like. what the hell why why why at this point of time when i seriously need them for my cover page. my dad's like, hurrying me like crazy shit mad because he needs the computer FOR HIS WORK.

thee computer is mine.

thou should get a laptop to make things easier.

i want to cry. ): reason is my homework is undone and my dad is trying to shoo me off the computer chair.

man i give up. hello teacher i'm gonna tell you i did zilch and i'm going to be an honest human being (we shouldn't lie it's a bigggg sinnnn) and face the music.

c'mon just create an avalanche of homework for me and i'll tell you i'll take the death/hibernate option. well i've been hibernating soooo long i'm feeling like an alien to this once-familiar scenario.

10:22 PM

Saturday, January 14, 2006

uhm i have totally no idea for the commonwealth essay even after much ransacking. ):

there's this really weird thing about me: i love writing. and i bet you'd never guess that's one of my favourite hobbies.

i kinda failed to realise yesterday was FRIDAY THE 13TH until i reached school and qian told me and i was all, no wonder i'm so unlucky. and god was i really unlucky. my dad drove off when i was getting my bag out of the backseat (i was already out of the car) and my heart practically skipped a beat when he started driving off. i tried to clutched onto the handle and the worst thing was that i had to let go because there was a tree just ahead. i fell. and i was relatively badly wounded on my right leg. blood was oozing out profusely of the small wound and pain gnawed into me.

it's pretty pain now but it'll heal soon. HA.

anyway, i find it awesomely hilarious when people of mediocre English standards try to act as if they are some professionals in it. and the other funny thing that people think they're the epitome of cool when they're just mere minutiae icons of SHEER IRRITATION. CAN I PROUDLY SHOW YOU MASTIGATED FOOD. materials get you anywhere not. it's the inner-buildup babeh.

one day i'm going to buy a COOL phone and i'm going to put it up for display.

and everyone's gonna marvel and drool at it. HAHAHA.

perhaps an el-fantastico phone like the nokia 6680 and it's lookalike N70. two cameras, yeah? two megapixel camera, right? exorbitantly priced, important hor!! and the sony ericsson's w800i is still quite a catch. ditto to w900i too. THIS IS THE REAL MCCOY babeh.

besides, my mum is sketching up plans to get me a new phone! *mega applause*

and i'm so going to convince her to get me a good phone so you guys there can drool.

today's conclusion: i had a bad haircut.

10:33 PM

Thursday, January 12, 2006

this lifelong search's gonna drive me insane.

everything felt much better today and i'm gradually getting more accustomed to being in a stranger class. SO it's quite clear that the classroom lacks sophistication and does that mean i must get cracking on my limited resource of precious drawing block. ): uhm no midnight oil burning tonight hello i'm sucha total dimwit to commit myself to that. zilch lucrative benefits.

ANYWAY THIS IS THE RECENT MOST HEATED TOPIC BETWEEN FELFEL AND I: purchasing dunkkkkkkkkkkkks. it's coming my way, soon. just soon. and today i'm gladly taking off precious time to do this man. just for the sake of ridding my crazy dunky thoughts.

man i don't like it babehhh but maybe feltay will, so it's up here.(:

this is more of something that i'm hunting for :D

and this is still so-so.

argh i can't get them uploaded properly. so this concludes the end of this entry's dunk gallery and uhm, i think i'll just have to jolly well send them to felfel over msn ):

worse is that i can't seem to log into msn 'cause they keep cutting me off.

and yeah, y'know the other day my mum got me a pair of converse sneakers (if you can say they're sneakers) that caught my eye and when i tried it on at home, god did it resemble dunks and now i'm all ga-ga over it. my sole consolation. uhm no fret i'm working frantically towards my dream shoe. (:

now you see how craaaazzzzeeeeehhh i am.

10:30 PM

<3 the nike dunks. they have such a wide array it's like zomg. because the dunks-fund is in process, i shall hunt for good bargains/fantastico models to get. and they come before my mambo bag. <3

12:44 AM

hello please be reminded that you're absolutely so not the epitome of cool. and and yay i'm feeling extremely sane now because it has been proven that i'm no insane being when having flighty and foolhardy comtemplations. okay so. i'm like. perfectly sane. okay.

uhm and seriously i hope you will someday learn of the ultimate truth. anyway i had this barrage of why-s churning in my head i was desperate to find a quick solution to conclude this whole problem but noooo. thanks to_____ who came along and i was like, freed from all the hassle. (:

haha zomg i'm really stretching everything to the limit.

so anyway, we did the designs for the classroom today and uh, i think i made a blatant mess out of it. the spray paint's fault ): i particularly liked the cardboard 3g for the notice board 'cause it's painted in shocking pink. like glamour to the eyes when you step into the classroom.

this is our euphoria: 3G uhm actually not so. this is damn cliche and it actually came out of my pen onto the mini banner i was making. not felicia but her alter-ego again.

but our true identity is, three gay geeky geckos. yeah it's like, i-don't-exactly-like-it but i still go along with the class to avoid controversies. (quote: THREEGO WAS SUCHA FAB IDEA)

i'm in a way, don't know why either, psyched up for tomorrow's pennultimate (?) class-deco day. that's so not felicia.

12:10 AM

Monday, January 09, 2006

the looming path seems to be shroulded by a smothering blanket of dejecting darkness. ):

bball is a getaway to me, i realise. <3
other than bball, i don't see what else could get me all upbeat and tensed for the day. not friends (save for amelia <3), not family, not studies or anything else. just purely bball.

i'm sad. ):

9:13 PM

haha yay ONE SECOND OF HEAVEN when you have toasted marshmellows! toasted from the oven. eaten with full bliss. cooliooooooos. (:

i liked the idea of making notes of 'i was here please remember me!!' on the ab-nice slipper i bought for amelia. great idea! okay yeah i'll certainly miss you loads because when people meet, people will part. though i feel extremely lonely(this is a real factoid) in dhs, i'll still remember you live just a phone call away and He is omnipresent.

oh and i saw this bag which is love and it's a wanna and must-get. perhaps i'll get it this week and ft's pencilbox the following week. anyway, FELTAY AND I WERE DISCUSSING ABOUT NIKE DUNKS THE ENTIRE DAY AND SHE SAID HER MUM AGREED TO GET IT FOR HER SO I'M SAD ): i should have a nike dunks fund so in a few months' time, i can happily don my dunks out to world. ok and i wanna save for a nice mambo schoolbag which is also love too. :D

there's school later and it like. makes me have an emotional overdose. i hate to face 3G more because i hate to figure things out myself. i hate to face my life because it just isn't complete without amelia ):

12:52 AM

Friday, January 06, 2006

sitting. watching. waiting.

frankly i wanted to forget about my sickness and rush over to amelia's to have a sumptuous ab-delightful bbq (I'M LIKE SERIOUS K) instead of having outside packet food. uh but both are like, semi unhealthy and badddddd which might just place my recuperation in danger.

school was so-so. i think i always fail to fit myself into everyone. perhaps i've parts of ame's characteristics. sigh okay sickening can't rid it. now that the dreaded formal lessons are gonna start next week, it seems that time for playing bball is just gonna cease right down there. hey amelia i'd just thought i'll say, i'm waiting for you to pick up the pieces. because everything feels out of place. but i'll always remember abby's words of consolation.(:

the timetable looks HORRIBLE it's the worst timetable you could ever come across.

i should just probably continue jap cos it's the best reason for a getaway from school. although it adds to the burden i'm already carrying.

seriously, you're one ass of a weird person i never will succeed in dissecting/analyzing your persona. like, ok sickening i'm ~~kecked~~not very happy with your uh...just the entire overview it makes me twirl round and round in circles, but i don't know where i'm exactly heading? i hate to sin but i hate it more when i bury it under my junkyard and keep it there forever. no. okay. just plain no.

11:09 PM

Thursday, January 05, 2006

i didn't attend school today and missed out everything. was down with a fever and it's like, relatively queer- the fever came for no reason (didn't run in the rain or eat any bad stuffs) and then subsided for no reason (didn't take any medicine at all). and the worst thing that happened was that i didn't even get to participate in the amazing race, which looks entirely fun compared to all the previous dhs-based activities.

okay i so do not have anything else to blog. i'm given two days mc worx!

11:07 PM

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

okayyyyyyy. i'm like ass dead beat and i'm absolutely zipping about my day. nothing splendid enough worthed mentioning on here.

i'm so darn tired that i'm struggling to keep my eyes open.

y'know my mood was totally dampened when you went back on your word. so much for the excitement in everyone. what a big surprise. just confess you can't make it in the first place and we could have saved time and even catch more sleep.

like. okay. i'm so annoyed by sloppy attitudes.

sorry for the sin.

i'm kinda, in a way, reminded of abby when i feel so thrashy. what she told us about god and how god puts us back on the right track we're supposed to be on, albeit the mad distance we're straying off to. yeah so is this a consolation or what?

anyway, OMG good heavens i saw the guy from the same team as me when we went out to play bball on new year's day! and it's like so much of a coincidence- he's from vjc too! amelia i can't wait to phone you and fill you in about my extra unpleasant day.

10:36 PM

Monday, January 02, 2006

HI IT'S 3.23AM NOW.

MANNN AND I FEEL SOOOO ENERGIZED. DID A FEW ARTICLES. well it's like totally enough to kill me. ps i don't like felicia tay zixuan and audrey lim wenqian for announcing to me that they've finished whatsoever. noooooooooooo babehhh i'm not least interested go away.

3:27 AM

Sunday, January 01, 2006

01/01/06 was uh, like OKAY WOAHHHH BABEHHH.

yaye!

first had bball at kovan with amelia, abby, sara, angela and ailing. i was all shocked when i gotta know angela was from dhs...long time ago! anyway she said that in the past every student of dhs knew how to play either bball or vball but uh, if you compare it with our current dhs it's like worlds apart. okay so that proves that dhs was actually sporty last time but now it's made up of mostly studious toots and dinks so, uh ya.

then we played match with two guys. amelia was like, chop chili chop. crazy crazy starplayer. and she denies it. crazy crazy starplayer.

it started to drizzle so we went to the arcade to kill time for a while because the bowling lanes were all full. we bowled, and i officially suck at it but i was thinking, hey i can go bowling more often and brush up my skills. :D

i love amelia, abby and sara they are soooo rad. thanks for the great day on a great new year.(:

2005
1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
initially twas still okay, in the context of grades and stuff. then midyear was postively wonderful. after that everything started to go haywire and i kinda got into a state of depression? okay but dec hols were so good. so overall, yeah. (i'm so long-winded)

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
lots! but i think my favourite moment was playing bball with amelia and...something.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
some really bad thing.

4) Where were you when 2005 began?
i suppose..at home? can't exactly remember.

5) Who were you with?
family?

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
I WAS AT HOME TOO):

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
my family again.

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
truthfully, i can't remember.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
i have a few in mind but i haven't penned them.

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
-

11) Did you break up with anyone in 2005?
-

12) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
hell yeah!

13) Who are your favorite new friends?
amelia (i kinda just realised she's so fabbb!) abby, sara and angela! and QIANNNNNIE just got closer to her this year. ditto to amelia.

14) What was your favorite month of 2005?
november plus december. goood.

15) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
-

16) How many different countries did you travel to in 2005?
none. i'm that pathetic.

17) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
more or less.

18) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
very really extremely crazily madly.

19) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
i don't know.

20) What was your favorite song you heard in 2005?
there were many. i'm bad at deciding.

21) What was your favorite record from 2005?
-

22) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
if you include musical concerts, i think that'll be four or something near that.

23) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
none i hated them all.

24) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
oh noooo.

25) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
nah.

26) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
uh yeah but it's not gonna be on here.

27) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
think there were many lies but most were like she was trying to ensure everyone gets a good impression of her. and to show she was purrfecty. superficial.

28) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
yeah. some deserve it while some don't.

29) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
it always happens?

30) How much money did you spend in 2005?
can't be bothered to add up.

31) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
uh i don't think there's any. usually just neutral moments.

32) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
salvage things and walk up straight to asked.

33) What are your plans for 2006?
stay afloat.

i don't think you're fit to say anything because you're like no better. whatchamacallit?! self-idelogies. self-obsession. self-praise in an indirect way. uh get a mirror.

lazy to finish up resolutions but, here goes.
2. play better bball.
3. read super widely.

actually i don't exactly have any in mind so think i'll just continue from there next time.

9:50 PM

2006 has begun babehhhhh.

2006 has few resolutions in my perspective.
1. TOP TEN IN MY NEW CLASS. and of course goody grades!

the rest is to be updated when i get back.
2006, a new year topped off with a brand new today.

1:07 PM

About

Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.